nutrition

Now that we know the importance of “playing the part” when studying abroad, it is only appropriate I explain the extent of what such a phrase means. We learned in high school to never give into peer pressure. “Don’t compare yourself to others,” they would say. “Everyone is different. You are special.” The truth is no one wants to stick out like a sore thumb, and we are constantly looking for ways to walk the walk, talk the talk, and dress the part. That can only mean, however, we must also eat like the locals...right?

The Essex Festival of Food and Drink begins Saturday with a “cookery theatre” featuring The Great British Bake Off’s star Paul Hollywood. Throughout the festival, guests can taste food from the experts, learn cooking tips and tricks and simply enjoy a foodie’s paradise. This sounds like any American student’s drug of choice, fresh cooked foreign food. It’s as addicting as heroin but with worse side effects. 

The peer pressure of selfish taste buds can be excruciating, but this is where that high school nonsense finally comes to good use. I urge you to stay above the influence of the world’s most addictive dishes. They will suck you in, take over your life and may become fatal.

Here is a list of the most high risk foods for American students across the globe:

• Italian pizza - This global phenomenon originated in the heart of southern Italy. As its popularity spread and its victims grew more numerous, the cheesy bread was adopted and perfected by both the central and northern regions of the country. When ordering this dish at a local restaurant, a single serving is the entire pizza. At first, you think you would never finish the whole thing. However, as the melted mozzarella enters your blood stream and the portions on your plate grow smaller and smaller, the reality of the situation begins to set in, you’re addicted. Feelings of guilt are often justified by the thin nature of the crust and the freshness of the ingredients. Reality is, however, statistics show 75% of Americans will feel the need for at least one of these Italian pizzas per day after the first tasting. Unfortunately, many will succumb to such risky desires.

• Mexican Champurrado - You know that childhood treat famous for warming souls across the world during chilly winter months? Well, that innocent Christmas hot chocolate takes a deadly turn in Mexico. Champurrado is a chocolate-based drink with corn flour added for thickness and tasty appeal. This creamy, chocolatey scrumptious delight puts the authentic X-rated spin on America’s watered down powder mix. Beware, it captures addicts with its harmless appearance but soon has its tasters reliving childhood dreams they may never want to escape.

• Indian Murgh Makhani - Also known as Butter Chicken, it is not difficult to understand the deadliness of this authentic Indian dish. While it’s origins are still debated, the spicy flare in this meal still classifies it as one of the top foods to be aware of while studying abroad. The “chicken” in its description could have unsuspecting restaurant goers believing they are ordering the lean, low fat meat. In reality, however, this dish is lightly fried and submerged into a fresh cream and tomato gravy that will have you slurping for more. Most fatalities involving Butter Chicken are most commonly related to an inability to handle traditional Indian spices.

Upon returning to the United States, most victims of these and other highly addictive foreign cuisines, suffer periods of intense withdrawal identified by the extensive sweating and substantial weight gain caused by substance abuse. If you suffer such symptoms, please consult your local fitness center for diet plans and exercise routines. 

Remember, you’ve been warned.

Class dismissed.